1. |
To Fall
01:55
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I can feel it coming on
running marathons in my blood
I can smell it on my breath,
the unmistakable stench of inevitable death
[Chorus]
And you know you can't just sit there and complain
You gotta get the strength to pick up yourself one of these days
but for now, it's okay to waste away staring at these walls
Just waiting for the other shoe to fall.
I can hear it in my head
It's just seeping from my skin
It's leaking from my eyes, all the bitterness I've held in
And we both know exactly why I can't feel my hands or feet
All the muscles in my body replaced by the static from T.V.s
And where a heart use to lay, now filled with maggots and decay
from everything I never got to say
[Chorus]
And you know you can't just sit there and complain
You gotta get the strength to pick up yourself one of these days
but for now, it's okay to waste away staring at these walls
Just waiting for the other shoe to...
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2. |
The Monster's Gone
03:13
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Towers of beers behind me
from the mole hills I've made into mountains.
Those happy days were nonexistent
"but you use to be our smiley little girl."
"We just wanna see your tiny face light up,
hear you laugh like you did."
"Yeah we just wanted you to be the same, damaged little kid."
But what you didn't see was when I was crying in the bathroom stall.
Cut my heart and wrists wide open every winter, summer, spring, and fall.
Banged my head on the ground wanting my body to be found.
[Chorus]
Daddy's home! Hide in the closet and lock your door.
He's been drinking and yelling and screaming,
throws your brother to the floor.
Just cover your ears and hope to drown in your never ending tears.
I just wanted to feel like I was loved,
I just wanted some self worth.
But you beat the happiness out of my face
Told me that's how you were raised.
"You've got it so good be happy that you're not like me"
But when I look at my reflection...
Your face is all I see
[Chorus]
Before you go to sleep you say a prayer
The monster's gone, he's on the run
Your daddy's here, he's here, he's here
x2
Beautiful beautiful boy
beautiful beautiful girls
x2
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3. |
Schoolgirl Crush
03:04
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I would never look at you that way but if I had
I’d say your smile lights up every room you’ve every walked into
I’ve never looked at you that way but if I had
I’d say your voice just has the sweetest tune
And I know that’s all so cliché to say
So it’s a good thing
Ive never thought you you that way
[Chorus]
I just can’t imagine
How Silly I’d feeling
If I suddenly admitted you got my heart beating
Way too fast for any doctor to calculate a reading
I swear to god this isn’t somethin I’ve been concealing
I would never look at you that way but if I had
I’d say you make me laugh like no one ever has
And I would never look at you that way but if I had
I’d say you make me wanna drop this act
[Chorus]
And I just wanna be the person that you’ve been seeking
And I am just pleading I’m the one that you’ve been needing
And I’m not seeming to shake this stupid feeling
That I might be
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4. |
The First Time
01:49
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Can you imagine looking outside your window
To the stars up above
Laying in bed with a man for the first time,
One you convinced yourself to love
While she’s down the hall
Blissfully ignorant
to all
The sins he’s about to commit
[Chorus]
Can you imagine being the other one
The thing he shamefully hides from the world
While he answers her calls and buys her flowers
You just remain the other girl
Oh picture perfect boy
With your secrets and your toys
Why can’t you just show some humanity
Just a moment of mercy
Leave that bitch for me
[Chorus]
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5. |
Affection
02:20
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I can’t take all this second guessing anymore
I don’t want to be like that loud couple on the second floor
Too much heart break
That I can’t take
Where I can’t fake
I don’t think I ever loved you.
[Chorus]
If love is yelling
If love is crying
If love is isolation
If love is hitting
If love is starving
Then I think I still love him
If love is sorrow
No tomorrow
Then he is my soul mate
The reflection
Of everything I love to hate
I wish I could forget how much
You hated me
We wouldn’t be together despite everything
You used me
For your selfish game
Of trying too feel good
And I push you away
Like you thought I would
[Chorus]
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6. |
I Just Wanna Breathe
02:05
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I’m tired of all these John smith looking motherfuckers
With their “that’s in the past” and their Cherokee grandmothers
I can’t go another goddamn day
Where all of them just look at me like IM the one who’s crazy
And I know I know
“Just sit down and shut up”
Be the complacent, trained “model minority”
The one AMERICA knows you can be
But there’s a fire in my heart and a burning in my feet
I will get up and walk until we are free
And I have often dreamed of a life
Where I take your hand and go outside
And with my entire being I breathe in
The fresh autumn air
Only one thought comes to mind
“We’ve finally gotten there”
And I know I know
“Just sit down and shut up”
Be the complacent, trained “model minority”
The one AMERICA knows you can be
But there’s a fire in my heart and a burning in my feet
I will get up and walk until we are free
Until my feet bleed x2
I will get up, get up and walk until we’re free
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s a d uwu Denver, Colorado
I write about my feelings. My dumb, stupid feelings.
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